Diary of angel

m happpeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:17:08 +0530

I am happy...... :) ....dis is my 2nd blog 2day....nt cuz m bored....bt coz m happy tht my faith is strong enuff 2 keep me from breaking down!!!!

I dunno...if i really hav d will power i need....but having faith sometimes really helps.....from d past 1 week i was sooo disturbed....for things i hav done...for sufferings from things i have'nt done.....for tears unnoticed....for words left unsaid.....but havng faith in ur luv....ur trust in some1...god......or evn some unknown power...never goes waste.....coz u leav it 2 them 2 do wat is right n what u deserve....n i m happy cuz i wasnt turned down by my faith!!!!

i havnt evn slept properly frm smtym........i bettr catch some......k thn c yaaa ppl sooon.............gudnyt.....sweeeet dreams!!!

d 1st man in ma life!

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:35:48 +0530

He is cool.....he is fun 2 b wid...he is protective....he is wise....he is affectionate...he is smart....he is caring...he is d 1st man in ma life....my DAD..!!!

I read somewher on iland...though i dnt remember whose blog was tht..i completely agree wid d line..." my dad is d 1st man in ma life"!!
true....frm d very start..he has been d same...loving man he was...though i hav changed with time....i hav learnt 2 take my own decisions....to keep up secrets....thinking all by myself....ther was a time i used 2 ask him 4 evry small decision i wantd 2 take...evrything i was confused about.....
i remember d n times v had a evening walk having icecream....playing in d park wen i was a kid....n he was never strict at all....nt evn now...evn wen he sees tht m wrong...he never shouted on me....never showed me down....he alwayz saw tht i got evrything i dreamt of...without making me a spoilt brat!!! n i admire u papa 4 dis...!!
i remember wen i was in skool...he wud set my books....sort out things.....wen i was too lazy....he wud even polish my shoes!!! i knw i hav never done a thing bak 4 him....i owe him sooo much......!!!
i nevr thought i wud really miss him....but yaa i cried wen he wasnt ther wid me.....n now wen he is ther...i dnt evn talk....i dunno y!!! bt i do respect u papa....n i luv u soo much!!!!
thank u 4 alwayz being ther...n u rselfless luv!!!!

do tel how much u care about them 2 d people u luv.....sometimes a warm hug or even a smile can make them feel special.....tel them tht u r ther alwayz!!!

confused!!!!

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:54:23 +0530

I dont know wat m i doing!!! well i hav got holidays now....n i thought i"ll b relaxed...n away from all d nasty stuff i get 2 hear...n sometimes d things i get into wen in clg...!! but now...i hav already done a lot tht i cant reverse it bak.....here is my bestest frnd, my classmte in college...n therz a guy my senior whoz also very close to me...so d prob is tht dis guy proposed her looooooong bak wen v were freshers....n she was already committed......!!! so wher do i come in this scene>!!??! well......he continued tlking 2 her as a gud frnd...n evn she dint mind tht...bt lately her guy has got prob wid their frndship....i dunno mayb hez too possessive...or jealous...watevr...so she stopped tlking 2 him.....cuz she dint want 2 hide it wen she tlks 2 dis guy...bt at d same time she cant b guilty...!!!n now he has been telling me she dint evn giv him a reason b4 she stopppd tlking.....n obviously though i knw d reason./..i dnt want 2 hurt him ....so i dint tel him wat d actual prob is......n he thinks m just supporting her blindly n i m insensitive...i cannot think beyond ma frnd...etc etc..............wat can i say or do?!?! 2day it jst went out of my hands....n i wud hav told d reason 2 him....bt somehow he wasnt intrestd in knwing now!!! gr8!!! n here m stuck up wid a confused mind ( heart :( )..............!!!!!

m bak 2myself :)

Thu, 01 May 2008 12:30:09 +0530

hmm...atlast xams r over..........!!!!n m bak 2 myself.....!!! i wantd 2 b free as soon as possible...n now therz loads of things goin on in my mind.....i wantd 2 do soo much at a time.....n still m gettng bored.....
strange!!!

well atleast i hav lots of time 2 enjoy wid myself..........!!!!some music...some fun....frenz....n loads of masti....well m tryng my hands on sm serious stuff too!!! letz c!!!!

so m off 2 njoi myself........ :) byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

lost!!!!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:02:42 +0530

nthing new in ma life...nthing special goin on....mayb missing smthing in ma life....d fun.....frenz...missing evrything.....smtimes i feel....running wid time...i hav lost myself smwher...n i dnt evn hav time 2 search for..........xams....again!!! god........watz dis life!!!!

jst hope 2 get sm time 2 b wid myself..njoi d loneliness....find solace in myself.....

WOMEN;S DAY

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 12:34:08 +0530

3 CHEERS TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE!!!! V R ALWAYZ SPECIAL!!!
NJOI BEING SPECIAL!!!!

is there a ray of hope??!!

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 16:10:37 +0530

I was just relaxing listening 2 music.....after a loooong hectic week....n was disturbed by faint beats frm far....i concentrated as it neared me.....as the beats of the drums grew louder and faster....i came out of my room into d balcony 2 c watz goin on.....ther was this small girl of arnd 6 years trying 2 balance on a tight rope tied high with a long stick in her hands 2 balance herself.....trying 2 impress d people around as she continued walking on the rope with wheel....plate etc etc.....as a man n a woman ( i guess her parents) with 2 more small babies were thumping on those drums making irregular beats.... i cud c people around her watching with awe...with few kids enjoying the show.....bt isnt it too much for a small kid of 5..6 years to risk her life just 2 earn a few bucks for her family,.....n as she went on begging n collecting money frm people nearby in the rain...her shameless parents were relaxing under a shade....i literally cud feel my moist eyes....smtimes i feel v shud smthing for these kids.....in some way...mayb by giving money...food or msthing else...v r encouraging her parents 2 go on wid these kinda business......bt is she goin 2 find a better future ever in her life???!!! NO!! she is being deprived of regular schooling jst bcoz her family is too lazy or helpless and shez d only bread winner,...... imagine d plight of d kid....she has no othr life.....she cant go 2 school unlike d othr kids...she cant play happily....at her tender age....shez being burdened wid soooo many responsibilities....... no1 comes 2 help or support her......dont even hav a right 2 dream.......
ther r soooo many kids all around us who r wasting their lives either begging.....or doing small odd jobs forcefully 2 meet d needs of their families....or ther r othr children who jst roam on d streets getting into thefts n all d unhealthy practices......cant v really do nething for such kids??!! d sooo called institutions which claim 2 b wrking for these kids are nt soo successful!! they r jst providing food n books (which they later sell or jst throw away) 2 children for a day or so....n then these kids r bak 2 their normal routine.......
showing mere sympathy is not gonna wrk out......it will smhow turn out 2 b more dangerous 4 d coming generations...!!! kids r d future of our country n here they r balancing their lives risking jst 4 a few crumbs of bread!!!! :(

to be with or not to be.......??!!!

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:42:07 +0530

Its beenalmost 2 years..they have been together but it seemed 2 her...as if
they hav been 2gether forevr....she was never tired of saying him how
much she luvs him.....how much she cares for him...but he was totally
different...she was soooo serious about him...so attached 2 him...tht
she wud even cry for d smallest things he said harshly.....
he
would say.."hey M...dnt b so stupid...u r matured gal...ther shud b
feelings...bt no t attachment....i dnt want u 2 think abt me d 24
hrs...u hav lot 2 do..go on wid ur wrk....etc etc..." n she wondered watz wrong wid him???
she
evn used 2 doubt if he is really serious../.bt deep inside her
heart...she knew d truth tht he loves her sooo much tht if he really
shows it out....she cant stand it.....
she was happy n contented in
1 way...bt thn tht was nt d way 1 can always convince themselves. She
wanted 2 shout at him 2day....she wanted 2 tel him tht this is
enuff....watever he has done 2 her was nt fair....she was worth more
thn wat she gets....2day she was totally confused....she luvd him soo
much tht she dint want 2 hurt him....bt jst for this reason....she has
been hurting herself....
"I t really hurts "...she thought....."y
isnt he calling me??is he k??watz his prob?!!"....d last time he tlked
2 her....it was a rather cold conversation n he said "m really
disturbed...i hav got my own tensions...bt i cant tel u wat is it....i
just want some relief n wen m k...i "ll cal u..."!!! she was really
hurt...she thought he dint consider her trsutworthy enuff 2 share his
probs....but wat does he mean by saying i"ll cal u wen m k??!! is she a
toy 2 play wen he wants 2 throw away wen hez bored..or busy??!!!
Thinking
of all this.....she cudnt sleep...it was 12.30 nw.....she was really
missing him.....tht was d time.....he wud call her....n tlk 2 her d
whole nite....she wudnt speak nething....n evn if she spoke....tht wud
b d whispers...tht he luvd soo much.,...tht he cud giv up his
sleep.....he wud stay awake d whole nite yawning...bt still listening 2
her.....she really cudnt stand this feeling of seperation......she felt
as if she was getting strangled.....she got up frm her bed....n got
into d balcony.....n sat on a chair.....she dint knw wat time it
was.....she was jst staring into d sky.....dark.....calm....n ther was
some kinda morbidity.....she looked down d streets.....ther was
no1....nt evn a single soul.....evrything was dark...except a street
light frm a far off corner.....all this was getting on her nerves....
she
was recalling all those magical moments....d day the met....it was
drizzling....he thought she wudnt come....n she came a bit late......he
was like "u r late"....n she said.."sorry ...n thn itz fine rite"..he
was totally drenched....bt she was looking gracious...but nervous....n
she dropped d pastry they ordered.....n gave a stupid embarrassed
smile...he just smiled it away....they had a cozy chat....n thn they
left....nthing much....that they she avoided tlking 2 him wen he cald
at nite......cuz she felt itz getting very far.....bt thn she cudnt
stop tlking 2 him....aftr 2...3 days.....they met again....n this time
it was a date never 2 b forgotten.....they went 4 a movie....did some
shopping...n thn aftr coming bak home.....she was thinking....y did i
go wid him???y cudnt i say no 2 him wen he asked for a movie??m i k??m
i falling for him??
it was d first time she felt like tht for a
guy.....she tlked 2 him tht nite....he was giving her clues...he wasnt
sure hw she"ll react....he dint say nething...n tht day,...she was
sitting in d balcony watching d sky...d moon....thinking wat 2 do?!!
wen she saw...her guy down ther....on his knees....wid a bunch of
roses......she was on d cloud 9....she jst ran 2 him.....n hugged
him.....they went 4 a drive early mrng... 2 d beach......n startd their
luv story,......
she recalled hw times were so
gud...sweet...romantic..n now he doesnt even hav time 4 her......she
decided....she dint want 2 b with him nemore....she decided tht wen
calls shez gonna say " Mr. K.....enuff of games wid my heart....now
stop all this....go on wid ur life...u expect me 2 b wid u wen u need
me....n u want me 2 leav u wen u r tired of all d bondages!!...huh!!!
hw can u xpect ppl 2 b puppets in ur hands....i dnt wanna bear all this nemore.....jst set me free!!!"
she had tears in her eyes.....she dint knw....she was confused....is watever she doin rite??!!
she
just stood by d balcony wall....wiping her tears.....she felt sooooo
lonely this nite......she dint knw watz gonna happn 2mrw.....she was
scared evn 2 think of all dis!!! she jst looked down wen she heard a
sound......n ther was her luv....yes...K was ther....on his knees wid
roses...red 1s...were her favourite....she was shocked...was doubting
if she was hallucinating.....bt no..it was really K
..........she
ran down d lane...hugged him so tight...as if ther wud b nooo
seperation....she cried...she shouted....she laughed....she kissed
him.....soo many mixed feelings she had 2day.it was really unbearable
for 2 stay without him nw........he said "m sorry M.....u r my
baby....i cant hurt u.....will nver do tht again......plzzzzzzz dont
leav me......be wid me forever" .......as if he had read her
mind........!!! .....it was their anniversary....2 years of b eing
together was not soo easy.....love was there always..bt they had face
many other things.....n still they were 2gether....n
happy...............she cudnt speak........tears jst welled up....she
wantd 2 stay in his arms forever.......she jst smiled n said :"LUV
u"..d question 2 b or not 2 b with??!!..2 b with him forever.

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:04:17 +0530

its such an eerie feeling....seeing some1 dying before u.....n d worst
thing......u r helpless.....oh my god....!!!thtz such an awful
state.....u dnt knw wat 2 speak....u cant stop crying.....but if u
gonna cry some1 is gonna break down too....u gotto b strong....crying
silently....smiling....huh...fake smiles....jst 4 d sake of some1
else......i knw hw difficult it is......u cant do nething.......bt jst
feel pity 4 tht person...family....n pray 2 god!!!

is tht all v can do.......leav some1 soooo helpless 2 die?!!!i saw dis
person......my teacher...for the last 6 yrs....a man who would do
nething 4 his students....living jst 2 seek knowledge....such an
enthusiastic person....some1 used 2 look up to....bt now........all tht
i can do is pray for him 2 get well...(wen i knw therz no hope
unfortunately...).....giving him n his family a moral
support....looking at his small kids made me cry....i dunno if i can
really do nething 4 them........dnt evn knw wat 2 say.....console them
??!!!how??!! bt jst cuz therz very less hope......v cant jst leav him
untreated......bt itz nt soo easy!!!tough times....!!!

ther r soooo
many students who will support him......bt will tht bring him some
luck...??!!luck enuff 2 bring him bak 2 his normal life?!!! i cudnt
sleep d whole nite...thinking of all dis.....n itz terrible wen u knw
tht therz jst a week or so......n i cant c sm1 suffering like dis!!!

n still ystrday wen i met
him......he was saying......study well...i wont b thr......bt i want my
ideals...n will power 2 pass to all!!! :(

can v really do nething???

(plzz god....get him bak!!!........v dnt want 2 lose him!!!)

childhood

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:17:38 +0530

Hmmm.........so many memories.....so much 2 relive!!!

wish i cud press d rewind button n go bak 2 tht time.....time of total
innocence....times wen u dunno nething....time of fun...luv.....thtz my
childhood!!!!

ther is sooooooo much i miss in my life!!!thtz a
missing link b/w wat i m living n wat i want 2 live like!!! childhood
was far more better...best dayz of my life.....no tensions...nthing 2
disturb u frm ur serious plays...so much luv 2 share....so many people
2 care.........huh!!wat more can u wish frm life??!!?

wanna go bak...wanna live again....though i hav
njoid d other times of my life too....college life is fun...wid
frenz....n all tht...bt still childhood is alwayz special....evry1 will
agree wid me i guess!!!

soooo many memories....playing
pranks....giggling naughtily....getting soo much attention (god...hw
can i 4get tht!! ;) )...eating chocobars....playing wid baccha party
around....it was like a big gang......n v had no other wrk thn
playing!!tht was soooo cool man!!!mayb thtz wat inspired me 2 b in big
gangs....n i really luv being wid frenz!!!!

n wen i started goin 2 skool it was much more fun.......goin 2 skool
early mrng..esp winters were awsome.....i must say nthing can beat
delhi in this...ppl say itz like dis dat...hw can u b sooo attached 2
it....bt itz alwayz spl....nthign can b more spl than delhi.....atleast
4 me.....!!!! skool in winters meant getting into big
blazers...scarfs....coming bak...doin homewrks....running out of d
home...widout telling mum....n mum yelling @ me later :P....evening wud
b totally devoted 2 games....wid my now new skool
frenz....cycling.....n holz wud b fun...picnics....etc etc....n
festivals were njoid in a new way.....wid our own
parties....christmas...new yr...n holi was d unforgettable fun i ever
had!!!!

n after soooooo much of fun.....things hav
chnaged sooo much nw...tht u cant even think of having fun
smtimes....soo hectic..usy schedules....xams...studies....projects...i
hardly get time 2 even think of my past....bt truly.,.childhood is
incredible!!!!nothing can replace it......may evry1 get tht
sweet.......memorable childhood alwayz!!! :)